


Submit Yourself to Devotion

by Sammy_is_obsessed



Series: Sanders Sides Oneshots [54]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst/Fluff, Human AU, I've tagged this graphic violence just to be on the safe side, Intrulogical, Logan Sanders does a murder, Logan: so... I killed him. For you, M/M, Remus: Fuck that's hot, Violence, it gets fairly horny by the end but there's no smut, the murder scene is very easy to skip if you need to do so, tw death of minor character, tw murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27695558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammy_is_obsessed/pseuds/Sammy_is_obsessed
Summary: “Tell me that you love me.”“I love you,” Logan whispers into the crook of his neck, breathing it out like a prayer, “Deeply and entirely.”“And you’d kill for me? Tell me that you’d kill for me, Logan.”Remus says it in a jovial tone, as though it’s a joke. But Logan stills, his grip on Remus’s shoulder tightening just so. He breaths in and out, considering his next words carefully. And then:“I already have.”
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides Oneshots [54]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1943131
Comments: 16
Kudos: 104





	Submit Yourself to Devotion

It scares Logan, how far he’d go for Remus. Before knowing him, Logan had long considered himself above the dramatics of romance. He was a man of logic, a man of reason and rationality. He looked at his friends, so lost in love, and wondered how they could possibly become so weak to another person. How could anyone lose themselves so entirely in the love of another? Surely, Logan wouldn’t. He _wasn’t_ weak.

Oh, but how he fell.

It wasn’t instant, not ‘love at first sight.’ It snuck upon him, the effect that Remus’s laughter had on him, the sparkle in those wild eyes, the rumble of his voice. Logan found himself enraptured by the man, but he’d been sure he wouldn’t stoop so low as to _love_ him.

Still, the time they spent became more frequent, and the pounding on Logan’s heart in Remus’s presence was increasingly difficult to ignore.

Before he knew it, Logan found himself pinned against a wall, Remus’s lips pressed against his in a bruising kiss. He wasn’t the only one to fall, as it turned out. Just like that, any remaining composure Logan clung to was gone.

Logan could tell himself he was still a person mostly devoid of emotion, he could promise himself not to grow desperate for his lover, but it would always be a falsehood. Logan’s affections for Remus, having spent a great many months festering, boiled over to maddening, intense love, a feeling unlike he had ever experienced.

He still feels just as helpless, a year into their relationship. All sense of caution goes out the window quickly. Things escalate rapidly, passion, and emotion becoming normalcy for Logan. Everything about Remus is fascinating, from the way he lights up when an idea strikes him and he spends the next several hours painting, to the way he holds Logan’s hand so tightly. It’s almost shocking when Logan realizes he would do anything for Remus.

It’s even more shocking when the cognizance comes to fruition.

=+=

Logan stands in the kitchen, the aromatic scent of pasta sauce wafting through the apartment. Remus is sprawled out on the sofa, scrolling through his phone. Logan is thankful for his boyfriend’s distraction, hoping he hasn’t caught on to the way his hands have been trembling incessantly.

Logan does not always see an issue with lying. He by no means advocates for spreading falsehoods at every turn, but there’s very little reason to get worked up over such a thing, for the most part. Lying to Remus always feels different, though. Always so much worse.

 _It’s not a_ complete _lie_ , Logan reminds himself. Remus hasn’t asked him anything yet, thanks be to small miracles. But… he also hasn’t said anything to his boyfriend. He’ll have to, soon. Remus has a right to know what’s happened, and Logan doesn’t know how much longer he can keep this bottled up. It’s harder than he’d like it to be.

“How was your day, Lo?” Remus asks, setting his phone aside and puts attention on Logan, who tries to will himself not to look so peakish.

“It was fine,” he says, trying to remain composed, but his voice wavers all the same. Remus’s face scrunches up in confusion, and oh dear, this is all far more exhausting than it ought to be.

“What’s wrong?” Remus asks, rising to his feet. Logan shakes his head, his eyes returning to the saucepan.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he assures, but his voice betrays more than he’d like. Remus isn’t an idiot; he can tell something’s amiss.

“Did you have a hard day?” Remus asks, pressing a kiss to the back of Logan’s neck, his arms winding around his waist. “Did those students of yours give you lots of trouble?”

“No. You give me enough trouble as it is,” Logan says, humor seeping into his voice, despite the anxiety that’s been welling inside of him over the last few days.

“Then what’s the matter?”

“Dinner’s ready,” Logan says, rather than answering, and pours the sauce over the pasta. Remus huffs out a sigh. This is merely a pause in the conversation, rather than the end, and that knowledge sends a chill down his spine.

The two eat in relative silence, sitting tangled together on the sofa once they’ve finished. The tension that’s inhabited Logan refuses to leave, coiled tight in his stomach, and sitting heavy on his shoulders. Time spent in Remus’s apartment is usually something he so looks forward to, but today, it’s something he’d been dreading.

“Hey, what’s going on, baby?” Remus asks after a lull of silence, pulling away and looking into Logan’s eyes searchingly.

“Nothings –.”

“You’re shaking,” Remus interrupts concern evident, “You’ve been jittery for days. I’ve been waiting for you to come clean, but… you’re making me nervous.”

The statement strikes Logan right to his core. Remus _doesn’_ t get nervous. He’s always bold, an act now, think later kind of man through-and-through. But Logan’s done it; he’s scared his lover.

He should’ve known Remus was on to him. He’s far from a deceptive liar, and Logan’s found himself fidgeting at least a dozen times in the last three days.

“What can I tell you to ease your mind, my dear?” Logan asks, putting his arms around Remus again, relieved when he doesn’t retreat.

“The truth would be nice,” Remus huffs. Logan sighs, anxiety straining him. Remus quiets for a moment, before speaking up again.

“Tell me that you love me.”

“I love you,” Logan whispers into the crook of his neck, breathing it out like a prayer, “Deeply and entirely.”

“And you’d kill for me? Tell me that you’d kill for me, Logan.”

Remus says it in a jovial tone, as though it’s a joke. But Logan stills, his grip on Remus’s shoulder tightening just so. He breaths in and out, considering his next words carefully. And then:

“I already have.”

Remus’s eyes widen to the size of saucers, his body going rigid.

Logan lets go of him, sitting up so that there’s a gap between them on the sofa. He doesn’t know what to expect in the least bit. Remus has always been a highly unpredictable man, and there’s hardly an anticipated reaction when admitting to murder.

“What do you mean, ‘you already have’? Logan, what are you talking about?”

Logan can’t tell what Remus’s tone is indicating. It could be horror or just general shock. It could be a million things, the possibilities immediately overwhelming. Either way, he’s got some explaining to do, and fast.

“I did it for you,” Logan says, wishing he sounded less far-gone than he does.

“Who was it?” Remus asks, his voice far less lively than it usually is.

“You’re neighbor across the hall.”

“Jesus fuck, Logan. He died _three_ days ago. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to frighten you,” Logan says, shifting in his seat so the space between them widens just so, in an effort to keep Remus from feeling trapped.

“Why did you do it? I don’t understand.”

Logan takes a deep breath, wondering if he should prepare to mourn the death of his relationship, and wondering a little more so if the police are about to be called.

“Blake was stalking you,” Logan says, watching as Remus’s eyes somehow grow wider.

“What?”

“He was watching you. Following you too, at times. I caught him suspiciously close to your vicinity on multiple occasions. I couldn’t let anything happen to you, Remus. I couldn’t. So I… took care of the matter.”

“I can hold my own, Logan. You know that. I never noticed anything too off about Blake. I mean, he seemed a little weird. But I didn’t really know him.”

“No, you didn’t know him. He was _dangerous_ , love. The way he looked at you, as though you were some kind of… object. I couldn’t stand for that.”

“How did you do it, then? How did you, ‘take care of the matter’?”

“Do you really want to know?” Logan asks cautiously, “I could spare you the details if you wish.”

“Tell me.”

Logan nods, taking a steadying breath.

“Okay.”

**

Coming in through the window is easy. This man isn’t as cautious as he should be, considering the way he’s been looking at Remus, hungry and desperate. The window isn’t even locked. One would think someone of such disrespect would be more mindful of his own neck, but Logan certainly isn’t complaining.

He drops soundlessly onto the living room floor, taking in the squalor that is Blake’s apartment. Dishes are piled high in the sink, the coffee table littered with take-out boxes and trash. The furniture is ratty and unkempt, matching the rest of the disgusting place perfectly. Does Blake think he’s worthy of Remus, or is he simply infatuated? Does he plan to attempt to court Remus, or is he scheming something dastardlier? Logan won’t give him the time to decide and strike.

The sound of water turning on sends a thrill running through him. this will be even simpler than he’d previously thought. He takes his time, walking through the filthy apartment, nosing through Blake’s bedroom. The pictures he was sure he’d find – he’d seen Blake with a camera at one point – are pinned up on the bedroom wall, and Logan’s surer than ever that he’s acting accordingly.

He feels as though he should be overwhelmed with nerves. Surely, his heart should be pounding out of his chest, shivers running through his body. But the only thing that propels Logan forward is determination.

The sound of the water running gains in volume as he nears the bathroom, as well as loud music that must be coming from a portable speaker. Logan’s mind runs with every necessary plan to be able to carry out what he’s about to.

He turns the handle slowly, thankful for the distracting music that’s blaring inside the small room. Logan stalks assiduously toward the shower, pulling the door open in one swift motion.

“What the fuck?!” Blake shouts, backing into the cramped space, but there isn’t anywhere to go. Logan is not an intimidating looking man by most standards, not usually considered for his strength or size. Unfortunately for Blake, he’s quite disadvantaged at the moment.

Logan grips tightly onto Blake’s shoulder with one hand, the other smothering his mouth as the other man desperately tries to break the hold. He’s just a few inches shorter than Logan, just a touch weaker, but overpowering him is deliciously easy. Logan pushes him into the tile with all the force necessary, his head hitting the wall with a decisive _crack_. When Logan releases his hold, Blake goes lax, his back squelching against the tile as he slides to the floor.

He watches as Blake lies face-down on the floor, ingesting the water that continues to flow from the spout. Logan can’t help but transfix on the blood running down the drain, long after Blake’s stopped breathing.

He closes the bathroom door after he’d left, the music blaring on and water still pounding Blake’s corpse, relief flooding Logan’s senses. He leaves through the window he’d come through one that faces an ally, and luckily, has very few windows facing his way. He didn’t see anyone when he was coming in, and he doesn’t stop anyone now.

**

Logan pauses once he’s finished, taking in the look on Remus’s face. It’s another expression he’s having great difficulty putting together. Remus looks awed, while simultaneously appalled, the combination peculiar.

“So, you bashed his head in and he drown in the shower?” Remus asks, ever to the point.

“Yes.”

“And he was watching me? Had photos of me hanging up in his place, and all that?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Logan, baby, you should’ve told me –.”

“Remus, I know this must look –.”

“I would’ve _helped_ you.”

Logan feels as though his heart goes dead in his chest, all expectations whirring in his mind silencing.

“…what?”

“You said he was an asshole, right? That he was a danger?”

“Yes – _yes_ , he was. I’m just –.”

“Did you think he was a threat to me? Genuinely?”

Was Blake a threat to Remus? Did he truly pose a risk? Or was Logan simply being overprotective to the degree of murder? No. Blake would’ve done something eventually, he’s sure of it. He was merely acting in Remus’s best interests. And besides, what if Blake was a danger to someone else in the future? He’d prevented such things from ever being an issue.

“I do. Would… would you really have ‘helped’ me?” Logan asks, voice low. The smile that Remus sends him would be nearly unsettling, were it not for the context.

“Oh, baby, I would’ve kicked his fucking head in.”

Well. That certainly makes this situation easier.

“I never would’ve put you in such danger. I wouldn’t have let you near him. He wasn’t to be trusted,” Logan says, voice rising with an unsteady level of emotion.

“You’re such a softie for me, aren’t you?” Remus asks, the space between them rapidly shrinking.

“N-no. I simply –.”

“You simply, what?” Remus asks. When did he get so close? “Killed my neighbor because he looked at me in a way you didn’t like?”

“Remus, I –.”

“Which is incredibly sexy of you, I’ll have you know,” Remus says with a devilish grin, placing himself in Logan’s lap, his hands landing on Logan’s shoulders.

“It… is?”

“Are you kidding me? You did that for _me_. Think of how much you risked, just because you were worried for me,” Remus says, pressing a heated kiss to Logan’s pulse-point. “You love me that much.”

“I love you more than anything,” Logan breaths out, wave after wave of relief washing over him.

“You risked getting caught,” Remus points out, punctuating the sentence with a nip at his neck, “I didn’t know you could be so reckless. I _like_ it.”

“I was very careful to make Blake’s death appear accidental,” Logan explains, voice breaking off as Remus’s teeth graze the sensitive skin of his collarbone, “I highly doubt the police suspect a thing. But… yes. I suppose I did put myself at risk. It was worth it, though. I’m sure of that.”

“And you claim you’re not a romantic, you sap,” Remus chides, and suddenly, Logan is shuddering for entirely different reasons.

Remus continues to press kisses to Logan’s face and neck, the embraces quickly becoming heated as their touches become more frantic and lingered.

“What did it feel like?” Remus whispers against his skin, voice awed, “Ending a life? What was it like?”

Logan had been so afraid of what this conversation was going to be like. He’d agonized himself over the idea of Remus leaving him, of Remus seeing him as a monster. But… that isn’t what’s happened. Not at all. Logan can be entirely honest with Remus, and his lover won’t cast judgment his way.

“It was… exhilarating,” Logan admits after a moment of deliberation, “watching as the blood ran down the drain. It was such a relief when he stopped breathing.”

“Would you do it again? If you felt that you had to?”

“For you?” Logan asks, smiling as Remus buries his face in his neck, the familiar weight in his lap comforting, “I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

“I’ll have to find a way to return the sentiment someday,” Remus says before kissing him, desperate and open-mouthed.

Perhaps Logan should find it in himself to be concerned that Remus is suggesting he’s more than open to ending a life himself. Maybe, even more so, he should be horrified at the realization that it felt as good as it did, killing Blake. The realization that should he feel the need, especially if Remus is involved, he will kill again. But at the moment, all Logan can think of is the pair of lips against his and the hand tangled in his hair, the other fiddling to undo his belt.

Logan thinks not of the horrors he’s opened himself up to. He doesn’t dwell on the lengths he has and will go to for his lover. He has one thought alone, that takes up the entirety of his mind: Remus, Remus, _Remus_.

Finally, he submits himself fully to devotion.

=+=

**Author's Note:**

> This was such a fun one to do! It took forever due to writers block but I had a ton of fun writing it. I'd love to hear what you thought, and, as always, have a good day/night!


End file.
